Nervous...

I have read countless blogs before.  Lots of blogs about families, fashion, infertility.  Some I loved, some I hated.  But, I have never written one before today.  And I'm not a writer.  However, I wanted to document our process (good and bad) of trying to adopt.  So, here goes...

Tomorrow we are going for our first orientation meeting at the adoption agency.  To say I'm nervous is an understatement.  I have been waiting for this day for what seems like an eternity.  I have always known that I wanted to adopt.  I don't remember when I decided that this was what I was going to do, but as long as I have wanted kids, I have wanted to adopt.  I have never been one of those people that envisioned themselves pregnant.  Not that I wouldn't love it, but I just have never pictured myself pregnant. 

We have been married for a decade.  But we met in high school.  We started going out and have been together ever since.

We have gone several married years (and many, many unmarried years) of not trying to have children.  School, work, finances and just plain life got in the way of bringing a child into the world.  And then after what seemed like an eternity, we decided a year ago that maybe now was the best time to have a baby.  But, wouldn't you know it, the universe had other plans...

We have "tried" for the requisite year.  No such luck.  It's funny how upset you can get for failing at something you never wanted to do in the first place.  I have always been extremely determined and when I set my mind on something I do everything I can to make it happen.  Once you realize you can't do something, you want it that much more.  We promised each other a year ago that we were not going to go through what we have seen our friends go through with infertility.  The disappointment, sadness, countless doctors appointments and medical treatments.  If it didn't happen in a year, we would adopt.

So here we are.  I know we aren't going to walk in, fill out some paperwork and be done quickly.  It's going to be a process.  A difficult one.  But, a rewarding one. 

And I can't wait.